So, you’ll be joining us at The Cincinnati Bondage Ball...
That’s wonderful! It’s going to be an amazing and unforgettable time for all!
But if this is your first time attending or even if you’ve been to this one before or to other fetish events you may have some questions. Well, that is the purpose of this little FAQ. Let’s get the logistics out of the way first, and then we’ll move on to the FUN stuff!
Date: Saturday July 27, 2019
Time: 9:00pm to 3:00am
Fetish Attire required. And especially you guys, come on now, women are visual creatures too. Be creative. This IS a Fetish Ball. That leads to a good question that someone new may have.
What is fetish attire? Well, anything risqué or revealing is appreciated by all. Of course everyone LOVES a kinky Nun or Nurse, naughty school girl or a helpful sissy maid! How about a sexy school teacher in black heels, nylons, black pleated skirt, sheer white button down blouse revealing a black lace bra beneath and of course brandishing a large old fashioned wooden paddle or school cane for any miscreant she may catch in the hall without a hall pass! Other options:leather apparel, rubber, latex, plastic, nylon, PVC, garters with fishnet stocking, body painting and cross-dressing. Maybe you’re a pony in need of a little saddle breaking? Ohhh, more accessories come to mind for your training Mistress: Riding breeches, black leather riding boots, dress button down shirt and a good crop! Use your imagination this is meant to be fun! Some accessories might include stiletto heels and boots, whips, canes, paddles, corsets, tutus, collars and leashes, handcuffs. I mean, think sexy! If you think sexy you ARE sexy. And don’t be shy. You will see ALL body types at The Bondage Ball and in all states of dress OR undress. All of us will be there to be celebrated and enjoyed! That is what is so wonderful about the fetish community! So have fun picking out what you’re going to wear! This is a party! A celebration of kinky sexuality! A celebration of life!
What is allowed? bring a towel if you plan to get nasty!
Can I change there? Yes, there is a changing area and a locker area.
Is smoking allowed? Yes, there is an area tucked away for you freaks!
Will there be music? OF COURSE! We are bringing up DJ Dr. Octo Pussy from Fetish Factory and Submission in Florida to make sure that the music is RIDICULOUSLY on point!
Will there be alcohol? There is a BYOB bar.
Will there be live entertainment? YES! There will be LIVE fetish performances featuring Cincinnati’s own Domina Devlynn Desade AND everyone’s favorite user friendly, bendable, pose-able, Fetish Toy Rocky Doll!
What is the space like? We have a new space complete with stage, fully equipped dungeon, BYOB bar and couches!
Where do I park? There is ample parking space beside and behind the building.
I’m new to the fetish and BDSM scene and I’m a little nervous, will I be safe? Yes. You will find that the Fetish and BDSM community as a whole is very friendly. You’ll be safer here than at a typical “vanilla” night club. You are going to see so many new things that it may seem a little overwhelming at first. Some will be absolutely hot, sexy and erotic! You may see things that make you feel a little uncomfortable initially. For example; you may see a sub unabashedly sobbing, kicking and crying from a serious over the knee spanking to their bare bottom from their Mistress or Master. But, don’t let that trouble you. A lot of pain sluts love to be spanked to the point of tears because it is at that point where their bodies start to flood with endorphins and serotonin which to them brings on a sensation similar to gulping down a couple shots of cold Grey Goose. So, relax, erase any preconceptions from your mind and free your senses to truly live in and experience this incredible evening!
I’m very self-conscious about my body and am extremely nervous to dress in fetish attire but I really do want to, will I be accepted? I don’t exactly have a “perfect” body. Definitely! You will see EVERY body type imaginable at The Cincinnati Bondage Ball wearing anything from tight leathers to nothing but a slave collar and heels.
Are people going to grope me? NO. No means NO. However, this is a fetish party, if you wanted this then you could certainly find a willing volunteer. This is a party about appreciating and enjoying each other but also about respecting each other. Direct interaction and contact MUST be mutually accepted by both and never assumed.
How will I know who is a dominant and who is a sub, etc? There will be colored bracelets for people to wear to denote whether they are a top, bottom, virgin, etc. There will be a board at the entrance explaining the color code for each bracelet.
I am going to be wearing a very sexy and revealing outfit and I don’t mind being admired, but What if someone is giving me unwanted attention perhaps even touching me without my permission? Everyone is expected to be respectful of everyone else at the event. And in general the crowds at fetish parties are FAR more respectful to each other than the typical crowd at your average night club. However, if someone is persistently giving unwanted attention and not obeying the No means No rule then do speak to someone at the front desk and the event staff will promptly and politely escort them from the premises.
So let this be notice to any pigs out there, women will be dressed in a manner that pleases THEM. This is NOT an invitation. No matter how hot or inviting somebody looks, NEVER touch, spank, slap, pinch, bite, bump, brush, rub up against or make physical contact of ANY kind with ANY ONE without asking and obtaining their permission FIRST.
Respectful behavior will be the rule of the day.
How can I see who will be going to the event? You can look at the event page on FetLife or Facebook.
Are people going to take pictures of me? NO. No one is allowed to take a picture of someone else without their consent. There is a strict no unauthorized photo policy at the event.
Can I bring my camera? No, please be respectful of the privacy and wishes of your fellow kinksters. No unauthorized cameras area allowed at the event. If someone is using an unauthorized camera at the event please report it to the staff at the front desk immediately.
I’m a new sub; I’d very much like to meet a dominant woman. But, how should I approach her? Make sure your wrist band identifying you as a sub is clearly visible then simply, walk up and politely introduce yourself as you would any woman you would like to meet. Do be friendly and respectful. This is not a High Protocol event. So it is perfectly acceptable for you to approach her. If she is interested she will let you know. Don’t be pushy. But do NOT be a lurker hiding in the shadows watching her, this is creepy and No one likes that. It’s ok to be shy, most subs are, but come out of your shell and meet her. But, be sure to use common sense. Don’t interrupt her in the middle of conversation with someone else or if she is interacting with someone or in the middle of a scene.
Would it be acceptable for me to watch someone else’s play scene? Certainly, it is acceptable to watch a public scene.Enjoying each other is what this event is all about! But don’t interrupt or disturb those engaging in play in any manner. Don’t ask questions, don’t crowd in close and don’t make comments regarding their play. It can ruin the scene for those involved. And please refrain from unnecessary conversation with others around you while in the vicinity of an active play scene. It is very distracting and can be mood killing for the participants. Imagine if you were to laugh at something entirely unrelated, if a nervous and self-conscious sub heard you they may think you are laughing at them and that would absolutely crush them emotionally. If you do have polite questions you’d like to ask wait until they are entirely through with the scene before approaching. But, if you have a question that you’d like to address specifically to the sub it is a good idea to ask for permission from the dominant first to establish whether or not they own them.
This question also brings up another important point to make. Always be mindful and aware of what is going on around you when in or near active designated play areas. Play scenes can be dangerous to bystanders. And bystanders can inadvertently make them dangerous for the players. If someone is whipping someone with a bullwhip for example they are in complete focus on their subject or target and their whip may be seven or more feet in length. If you get too close you could end up with a whip lash across your face. That would not be fun for anyone involved.
If I see a sub that I’d like to meet and possibly ask to play but I notice that they are wearing a collar is it ok for me to approach them? As a general rule no. More often than not if they are collared they are owned and it is likely too that they are in attendance with their owner. If they approach you it is a good idea to first ask them if they are owned. They may not be. They may simply be wearing the collar as a fashion statement.
May I bring my own toys?
Yes, if you wish to play or to be played with you should bring your own toys. Toys will not be provided for public use at the event. And if a Dom or Domina decides that they’d like to play with you they would probably appreciate that you have your own toys. They may not wish to use their own on a stranger.
I’m very new, I’d like to bring some spanking toys but I actually don’t have any and don’t know where to purchase them, any suggestions? I would recommend www.cane-iac.com. They have a large selection of very well made and surprisingly economically priced spanking toys including wooden, acrylic, hard rubber and plastic paddles and canes, traditional rattan school canes, whips, floggers, carpet beaters…... They literally have a tool for any naughty bottom. They also typically will have the item to your door within a week and the package is entirely discrete.
Will there be dungeon equipment and furniture available for public use? YES! We have a fully equipped dungeon! But if there is a line of horny fetishists eagerly waiting their turn please be considerate and limit your time on a particular piece to no more than 30 minutes. And we ALL know that BDSM play when done “correctly” is quite messy so please do clean up and disinfect after yourself when finished. There will be disinfectant and cleaning products provided. And of course please do secure your expensive and cherished toys when leaving the area.
If I see a group at play, may I walk up and ask to join in? No, that would not be proper etiquette. Even though it may appear to be a “free for all” it is almost certainly a planned play scene among consenting friends. What you MAY do is politely watch and enjoy and when they are done walk up and introduce yourself. Who knows, they may ask you to join their little group for future fun!
If I’m watching a show and have questions about a technique or procedure, when is a good time to ask these questions? Not during the show obviously. What you should do is be attentive and watch and enjoy the show. Make mental notes of anything you may like to ask about and then when the performers are completely done they will likely begin mingling and socializing. That would be an appropriate time to go up and introduce yourself and ask questions.
If I happen to run into someone in public who I met at this event or at any BDSM event is it OK for me to approach them?
That is a very important question AND the answer is NO. Discretion is incredibly important in the BDSM community. Almost all of us have “vanilla” lives and friends and family. Often they will be entirely unaware of our involvement in the BDSM community and that is what you MUST assume to be safe. Could you imagine the awkward scene if the Domina who had paddled your bare ass at a private BDSM event was walking through a Kroger parking lot in her “street clothes” with her sister and her nine year old niece when suddenly some stranger yells out, “HI Mistress, remember me? I’m STILL sore!” That could have long lasting and devastating consequences. Be discrete. If you become a member of the BDSM community and lifestyle, it is your job to respect the privacy and confidentiality of others. This does not necessarily mean that you may never communicate with them outside of parties, but before leaving the event see if it would be ok for you to correspond with them in a private kink forum like FetLife.